Yeah so updating all of the time didn’t last very long… lol I knew that would happen but I’m going to try to do it more often after I move. Chris and I are planning for the last weekend of the month so we don’t have much more time to be apart. I seriously can not wait to see him, I’m going insane. He told me what my Valentines gifts are, I’m excited to get them. He bought me 2 dozen peach roses which will come Friday at work so I’ve been mentally preparing myself for the embarrassment from my coworkers. He also bought me a new camera, it’s like my old one that I busted the screen to but a newer updated version. I’m way excited.. He also bought me a late bday/xmas present, Sims3 I’m totally excited for that too!! I bought myself a new monitor finally and got rid of that damn dinosaur that I had… My new one is an HP 20″ glossy flat screen I love it so much its soooo sexy. haha. I haven’t really got much else besides a couple pairs of shoes and some books and stuff like that. I’m trying to save as much as possible for the weekend I move. Anywhore I’m bored now and waiting til it’s time to go grocery shopping with my mom and Jenn, and talking to Chris to keep myself occupied.

Also the new Anita blake book Flirt should be here hopefully Monday! I can’t wait to read it.

I have so much stuff on my mind, I think I’m drowning in it. I’ve not felt so great since yesterday, on top of that I’m pms’ing so my emotions are all over the place with everything. I know Chris is trying and what not but I can’t live with last minute and no plans. I just can’t do it and it’s making me so fucking insane that I can’t stand it anymore. I almost feel like I could fucking blow up. How do I do it? Wtf am I supposed to do? When I think about it all right now, today, I see me leaving stability for uncertainty.

There’s too much to do in not enough time and I’m going to be here still. Feb probably isn’t going to happen when you look at things realistically there’s no way in hell it can. But what then when Feb comes and goes and turns into March? Will it look better? I’m having doubts even though I don’t mean for it to happen. I don’t know I’m just so fucking confused right now. And I honestly don’t even want to talk about it, I can’t right now.

Today people have been asking me about moving and how I feel about it. At first I was just completely excited about it, but now I am scared as well as excited. It’s not going to change my mind but it’s definitely going to be really hard to drop everything that I know for the unknown. I’m leaving my security, home, parents, family, work… I won’t know until I get there and sometimes I’m actually worried about the getting there part too, Chris still has so much to do in such a small amount of time that deep down, I’m almost sure we’re going to have to put it off. He says we won’t and I do believe him but I just don’t know how he’s going to get it all accomplished. So that there worries me. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about it sometimes now and I know why and I know I’m going to have to just suck it up and deal with it. Jessica has plans on coming to visit me in April and I’m really excited about that and it helps me some so I’m really praying that all goes well and she can actually come and see me. I think I’ll need it, well actually I know I’ll need it. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out and deal with it as things come and I learn how to be a real adult, I suppose…

Nothing new really to update about, I’m slacking again but I’m sure that was to be expected seeing as how I make empty promises with my blogging abilities. It never did snow enough to make it so I had a long weekend, damn it. work sucked Thursday and I was pretty much pissed off all day and then Friday came along and I refused to let anything ruin my damn day which was pretty awesome.

I finished watching the 4th season of Dexter I was pretty pissed off at the ending. Now I really can’t wait for the 5th season which prolly don’t come on until like 5 months from now of course. I should have just waited but, no I couldn’t. I won’t write about it because I don’t want some fool who hasn’t seen it to be reading this and ruin the whole thing for them all though I could so they wouldn’t be as surprised as I was. :]

I changed my lip ring early… I couldn’t wait any longer the huge one that was in there was killing me and didn’t match. It hurt like a motherfucker but it was totally worth the pain. It looks so much better now and I’m much more happier with it then I was before.

Anywhore, I’m finished and now it’s time to go back to being bored and torturing my boyfriend some more :]

I skipped a day, oops. Yesterday was such a horrible day I didn’t want to do anything. Once I was home from work I washed the dishes and laid in bed and watched Dexter until I fell asleep sometime before 10 I do believe. I of course woke up late this morning because I some how managed to get my cell stuffed between 2 pillows and couldn’t hear my alarm go off or hear it when Chris called to wake me up. Luckily Jennifer is patient with me and woke me up twice. I have no idea why it was so hard to get me out of bed this morning, but I didn’t sleep very well so there’s my answer. There’s so much stress lately and it keeps piling on, I think sooner or later I’m going to lose my mind… It seems very likely anyway.

Right now I’m sitting here wishing for enough snow so that I don’t have to go into work tomorrow or at least Friday lol… It’s horrible, but I just need a break or a day or something to just let off steam and chill out and not have to worry about so many things. I wanna sleep in and after I wake up, get lost in a really great book for awhile. Which seems like a lot to ask for this week unfortunately.